The Truth Behind The Narcissist’s Mask…

Yes! It is possible, usual, and normal, for a Narcissist to take all of the steps necessary, to assume a believable, powerful persona, of someone that they are not! They are expert, pathological liars, that will say and do anything, to cover up the truth of what they really are. Sometimes they come from damaged family backgrounds. Sometimes, they are spoiled, rotten brats. Sometimes, there is no reason for them to act the way that they do. The “sense of entitlement” of a Narcissist drives them to do whatever they want, to whomever they want, to achieve a sense of superiority, and acceptance, in their conception of reality.

For this reason, here is my most important advice to you! Do a background check on this person before you get too involved, especially when you’re talking about the The Three M’S; MONEY, MOVING IN TOGETHER, & MARRIAGE! If you’re talking about your future, you have the right to know about their past, and present life. Ask for, or obtain his/her SS#, and Drivers’ license # (better yet, a copy of the ID). See if they have aliases, criminal history,ex-wives, current wives, children, and mental problems. Run a credit report on them. Go to the County Records, and pull up everything you can find with their name on it (you can do some of this online). And, even after that , DIG DEEPER! I didn’t find out, until we were separated after seven years of living together, that my ex husband had been involved in 62 lawsuits (YES, SIXTY TWO), that I was not even aware of, BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED!!! He was a professional litigator, without an attorney’s license! Hope this helps you feel a little bit better. I, at least, deserve a free dunce cap.

I’m glad that so many of you have found, and followed my blog. You must all give yourselves a HUGE round of applause, and many pats on your backs, for surviving the abuse that you, and your children, did not deserve. Please write in, and tell me more about your experiences with your NARC, and how you made it through the battles. You have no idea how many people that you would be helping. I had no idea how many people have been in my same situation,and been destroyed by their involvement with a Narcissist,until I received a ton of responses to my blog. It makes me wonder how many people were not able to survive the devastation, caused by this relationship, and turned to alcohol, drugs, and suicide.

I ended up homeless during this ordeal, and I’m sure many others have had to go there too. It’s so painful to talk about, that you just CAN NOT talk about it. We can not believe that we will get any help from the police, the Court system, and even our family and friends, because the NARCS are AMAZING PATHOLOGICAL LIARS, and are able to twist every truth, into a lie that is beneficial for them. Those on the outside of your relationship, do not get this, and will not believe you. It’s hard for us to wrap our minds around such a ridiculous reality.

We really need to FIND and CREATE more support groups to help us cope with, and find the better life, THAT WE DESERVE. I know that there are some wonderful groups of counselors out there already, and I would love to be able to help spread the word, of help that may be available to all of us. Thank you, and much love to all of you.

This is a very important message that I need to share with all of you. Right now,I am exhausted. I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t give a shit about what happens today, or tomorrow. I’m sick of the abuse by my ex, the Courts, attorneys, and blah, blah, blah. I began writing this blog in 2009, never, ever thinking that I would still be writing this in 2011!! TEN YEARS of my life! Oh well, I need to get over this crap.

I haven’t been able to add a lot of humor in my entries, due to the fact that THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY,when you are living with the Devil ( well…maybe sometimes).

Now for the good news! This is a temporary moment in your life. Five days ago, I saw the proverbial “light at the end of the tunnel”, and knew that I could, and would, be the wonderful,loving ,giving, beautiful, successful person that I was, before I became involved with this sick, destructive, inhumane, creature.

Embrace the fact that you truly know the meaning of LOVE ; the Narc will never be able to experience that feeling, and it PISSES THEM OFF! They get off on seeing the pain that they inflict on others. Realize how sick, and miserable the NARC will always be. NOTHING will ever satisfy them. They don’t/won’t recognize that they have NPD ( a combination of many psychosis; pathological liars, self delusion. self entitlement, and on and on crap) . This disorder can NEVER be fixed. Do not blame yourself ; just get the fuck out of there, before you lose your sanity, kids, money, self worth, and everything else that you still possess.

Anyway, tomorrow is a new day. I’ll get over these recent days of frustration, and life will be great again. I hope this helps some of you. PLEASE, PLEASE, continue to share your words, thoughts, wisdom, questions, and answers ,with me.

Love Y’all

Diary First post for Narcissistic EX…

X convinced me to buy a property with him, before we were married, for our future together. The plan was to remodel the old house, that was on one lot, for ourselves. I had the background and experience that was necessary to fix up the existing and messed up house. Believe me, it was MESSED UP! I have a talent, actually a gift, of vision, and can fix an ugly house, inexpensively . We would then design, build, and sell a new house on the separate, adjoining lot, for a big profit.

X told me that we would be partners on both properties, and X couldn’t buy the project without me. He was living with me at the time, and even though he was legally divorced, he and his ex wife (#2) were still “fighting” over money and child custody issues.

The word “fighting” is an understatement of what was truly going on between the two of them. X and his ex were embroiled in a all out WAR. They used their children, and me as sacrificial pawns, in their efforts to obtain power and control over each other. I did not understand that this was FUN AND GAMES for them! This crap went on throughout our entire marriage. X pretty much shielded me from the reality of THE WAR, until the day we got married.

Now, where was I……..? Oh, yeah. The house that was gonna lead us to Heaven.

Short version; I bought the property with X, and put myself on a very big loan with him, that I was 50% responsible for. Then, we got married.

Now I know, 7 years later, that X lied to me about everything involved with every transaction regarding said properties. He diverted and stole funds from our community property, forged my name on loan documents without my knowledge, made loans to other people with our community funds without my knowledge, tried to obtain other loans on our property by claiming that our community property was his sole and separate property without my knowledge, and on and on and on.

Also, X tried to convince everyone, and anyone, that HE, and HE alone,was the only person responsible for the extremely profitable development and sales of both properties. He tried to claim that I was a “hindrance” to the subs and contractors, during the 7 years of my life that I spent working on these projects, and that I “held up” the building process. What a bunch of bull. Forensic accounting tells the truth! X can say whatever he wants, but the truth shows up on the bottom line of the accounting records.

Hey, that’s what it’s like to be married to a Narcissist. I was worthless, and he was a God. I forgot to mention that X is an atheist, and L. Ron Hubbard wrote the bible that X believes in.

Narcissistic Ex Character; or Lack of Character?

I never will cease to be amazed by the characteristic Narcissist behavior that my X followed verbatim. The term “characteristic Narcissist behavior” really should be changed to “character flawed, unrepairable, without conscience, pathological liar, masochist, keep away from, Narcissist”.

X feels and acts on a sense of entitlement that is unbelievable. X thinks that he is better, smarter,mightier,craftier, than everyone else, Therefore, everyone around X was lucky to be chosen by X ,to serve, bow to, and lie for X. X used people as a means to an end; either to make himself look better or become wealthier. Status and Material Wealth; the only two goals that marked any sense of achievement in his life. Anyone that was not a source that could help X achieve these goals for X, were deemed unworthy to be in his presence. Anyone that was could no longer serve X for in his endeavors for status and materialistic wealth was dismissed, dropped like a hot potato, from the ” X World”. X also recruits a “lower class” of people to serve his needs, using fear, intimidation, money and indebtedness. These people become his ever ready servants, available for a lot of X’s dirty work. X makes sure that if something is ever going to go down, these people are going to take the fall. X never gets HIS hands dirty!

X is a highly skilled, and very, very, convincing and conniving LIAR. The lies that X tells others are often so ridiculous, and unbelievable that these LIES MUST be true!!!!!! X knows enough about the legal system so he can fool the Police, Courts of Law, Bank Officers, etc.,and enough about human emotions, to fool the rest of us. This, X learned by studying people. The only true emotions that X possesses are anger, rage, and jealousy. However, X can exude “Love” and cry, at the drop of a hat, and pretend to be a caring and sincere human in order to fool, and CONTROL his wife, family, and so called “friends”. X has only superficial friends, and they, along with everyone else, are all, expendable things. No one really knows X, and he keeps it that way. X paints different pictures of himself, depending on what his goal is, to everyone around him. He also tells lies, about the people around him, to other people so that he can CONTROL everything.

Well, X THINKS he’s in control. The end result of X’s need to lie and control is a continual state of CHAOS, that he, and those around him, lives in. X is only happy living in a state of CHAOS; because when the CHAOS stops, X is likely to get busted. People ask each other questions about his various and contradictory stories; ie. the” X Version of Truth”. This is when X invariably gets himself in trouble because he can’t keep his stories straight! So then X creates BIGGER LIES to try to dig himself out from under the BIG PILE of POO that he has made. X will NEVER claim responsibility for the messes that he makes out of other peoples lives. NEVER!!!! The messes, according to X, are ALWAYS the fault of that someone else, who is “A LIEING A-HOLE” !!! Takes one to know one.

Eventually, X has to move to a new group of people that does not know about the BIG PILE of POO that he left behind, that of course is NOT HIS FAULT ANYWAY. X starts the cycle of LIES, CHAOS, and a new POO PILE, over, and over again.

Life with X is like living through a very long, and painful, visit by the Tasmanian Devil……

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