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I just found out that my ex has more plans to ruin my life. Rumor has it that he is planning another lawsuit, more of the same bull crap this narc lets fly everywhere he goes. His obsession with me is incurable, and will force me to leave family, friends and my home if I have to. There is no cure for sociopaths with NPD, and narcissism is one bitch of a mental problem!
Knowing what I know now about the sickness that is narcissism, how the narcissistic ex can and will never stop stalking you, and that once entangled with the narcissist you are plagued for life… I would have made many changes in my life long ago, when running was easier. Let this be a warning to all of you, my friends, members and readers of this blog… know your enemy before it is too late. Read up on the characteristics of the Narcissist, because what you see is not always what you get, and once the narcissist becomes your ex, all hell breaks loose.
And thank you to all the hundreds of you emailing me and reading about my life before, during and after the toxic and deadly overdose of the Narcissistic EX!
Yes! It is possible, usual, and normal, for a Narcissist to take all of the steps necessary, to assume a believable, powerful persona, of someone that they are not! They are expert, pathological liars, that will say and do anything, to cover up the truth of what they really are. Sometimes they come from damaged family backgrounds. Sometimes, they are spoiled, rotten brats. Sometimes, there is no reason for them to act the way that they do. The “sense of entitlement” of a Narcissist drives them to do whatever they want, to whomever they want, to achieve a sense of superiority, and acceptance, in their conception of reality.
For this reason, here is my most important advice to you! Do a background check on this person before you get too involved, especially when you’re talking about the The Three M’S; MONEY, MOVING IN TOGETHER, & MARRIAGE! If you’re talking about your future, you have the right to know about their past, and present life. Ask for, or obtain his/her SS#, and Drivers’ license # (better yet, a copy of the ID). See if they have aliases, criminal history,ex-wives, current wives, children, and mental problems. Run a credit report on them. Go to the County Records, and pull up everything you can find with their name on it (you can do some of this online). And, even after that , DIG DEEPER! I didn’t find out, until we were separated after seven years of living together, that my ex husband had been involved in 62 lawsuits (YES, SIXTY TWO), that I was not even aware of, BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED!!! He was a professional litigator, without an attorney’s license! Hope this helps you feel a little bit better. I, at least, deserve a free dunce cap.
My ex warned me he would “…Take me down!” In a fit of rage, violent and threatening, as usual, he laid into me with a verbal assault. His tirade left no visible mark on the outside, and nobody believes me when I tell them what happened. Well, almost nobody. The Narc always plans what they do to you, for their own best outcome. It’s what you get when you meet a narcissistic abuser… the outside is all the matters.
It has been several months now since my divorce is supposedly final, but Narc is trying to appeal the judges decision. Not that this judge did me any favors, mind you. In fact, it has come to light that he and my ex had “business” together that explains a lot. So as I sit here, trying to make sense of the unreasonable which is for the most part a gigantic waste of life, I remember Narc’s words, actions and threats as vividly as if it were yesterday. And I am tired, beyond belief. It is everything I can do just to survive each day, as the residue of this horror continues to grip me and drag me down, without a moments rest.
He won. And I cannot imagine an outcome whereby he would not have won, at least on the surface, because that is what someone with narcissistic personality disorder does – win at all cost, even to their children, family and friends. No one is safe from the abuse of the Narcissist.
No One. My Marriage was a joke, my divorce an even larger joke, and still there is work to be done, court issues to be handled and now a new lawsuit designed to finish what Narc started. Just a few minutes rest, perhaps a brief day in the sun, and then I might pick myself up out of the dust and take a step up out of this pit that has become my life….
Narcissistic Ex leaves a residue that taints long after they leave…
Come in contact with a narcissist and you cannot help but feel violated – even with brief contact. But live with and marry one, and likely you will be tainted by their caustic residue long after they have scattered the remains of your relationship all around you as you lay on the floor struggling to regain your foothold.
This is the insidious result of the narc’s ability to suck the life blood out of those they profess to love and care for, all the while draining you of every drop of energy and joy you posses. And those who are unfortunate enough to last a few rounds with a narc end up loosing everything in the end. Even their future. Those who live it, feel it and survive this battle one on one with the narc are forever scarred…. damaged goods long after they are left in that black smoke of the void that once contained the narc and his entourage.
Perhaps there is an opportunity in all this for the creation of a new support group – Narcissist Survivors Anonymous (NSA)! Anyone want in on the formation of the first chapter? We can hold the meetings in rooms with no mirrors, padded walls to reduce the echo and everyone will have to talk about someone else as opposed to themselves… otherwise even our best efforts to keep the poison of a narc out of the group meetings would be destroyed. And you know that once a narc finds out about our efforts, they will crash it and take over, making the entire process about them. Next thing you know… mirrors everywhere!
Narcissists and those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder be warned… we see the rubble in the wake of your destructive path, and wish to protect the next in line who come in contact with the left-over pieces of the survivors! Not an easy task….
I never will cease to be amazed by the characteristic Narcissist behavior that my X followed verbatim. The term “characteristic Narcissist behavior” really should be changed to “character flawed, unrepairable, without conscience, pathological liar, masochist, keep away from, Narcissist”.
X feels and acts on a sense of entitlement that is unbelievable. X thinks that he is better, smarter,mightier,craftier, than everyone else, Therefore, everyone around X was lucky to be chosen by X ,to serve, bow to, and lie for X. X used people as a means to an end; either to make himself look better or become wealthier. Status and Material Wealth; the only two goals that marked any sense of achievement in his life. Anyone that was not a source that could help X achieve these goals for X, were deemed unworthy to be in his presence. Anyone that was could no longer serve X for in his endeavors for status and materialistic wealth was dismissed, dropped like a hot potato, from the ” X World”. X also recruits a “lower class” of people to serve his needs, using fear, intimidation, money and indebtedness. These people become his ever ready servants, available for a lot of X’s dirty work. X makes sure that if something is ever going to go down, these people are going to take the fall. X never gets HIS hands dirty!
X is a highly skilled, and very, very, convincing and conniving LIAR. The lies that X tells others are often so ridiculous, and unbelievable that these LIES MUST be true!!!!!! X knows enough about the legal system so he can fool the Police, Courts of Law, Bank Officers, etc.,and enough about human emotions, to fool the rest of us. This, X learned by studying people. The only true emotions that X possesses are anger, rage, and jealousy. However, X can exude “Love” and cry, at the drop of a hat, and pretend to be a caring and sincere human in order to fool, and CONTROL his wife, family, and so called “friends”. X has only superficial friends, and they, along with everyone else, are all, expendable things. No one really knows X, and he keeps it that way. X paints different pictures of himself, depending on what his goal is, to everyone around him. He also tells lies, about the people around him, to other people so that he can CONTROL everything.
Well, X THINKS he’s in control. The end result of X’s need to lie and control is a continual state of CHAOS, that he, and those around him, lives in. X is only happy living in a state of CHAOS; because when the CHAOS stops, X is likely to get busted. People ask each other questions about his various and contradictory stories; ie. the” X Version of Truth”. This is when X invariably gets himself in trouble because he can’t keep his stories straight! So then X creates BIGGER LIES to try to dig himself out from under the BIG PILE of POO that he has made. X will NEVER claim responsibility for the messes that he makes out of other peoples lives. NEVER!!!! The messes, according to X, are ALWAYS the fault of that someone else, who is “A LIEING A-HOLE” !!! Takes one to know one.
Eventually, X has to move to a new group of people that does not know about the BIG PILE of POO that he left behind, that of course is NOT HIS FAULT ANYWAY. X starts the cycle of LIES, CHAOS, and a new POO PILE, over, and over again.
Life with X is like living through a very long, and painful, visit by the Tasmanian Devil……