My ex warned me he would “…Take me down!” In a fit of rage, violent and threatening, as usual, he laid into me with a verbal assault. His tirade left no visible mark on the outside, and nobody believes me when I tell them what happened. Well, almost nobody. The Narc always plans what they do to you, for their own best outcome. It’s what you get when you meet a narcissistic abuser… the outside is all the matters.
It has been several months now since my divorce is supposedly final, but Narc is trying to appeal the judges decision. Not that this judge did me any favors, mind you. In fact, it has come to light that he and my ex had “business” together that explains a lot. So as I sit here, trying to make sense of the unreasonable which is for the most part a gigantic waste of life, I remember Narc’s words, actions and threats as vividly as if it were yesterday. And I am tired, beyond belief. It is everything I can do just to survive each day, as the residue of this horror continues to grip me and drag me down, without a moments rest.
He won. And I cannot imagine an outcome whereby he would not have won, at least on the surface, because that is what someone with narcissistic personality disorder does – win at all cost, even to their children, family and friends. No one is safe from the abuse of the Narcissist.
No One. My Marriage was a joke, my divorce an even larger joke, and still there is work to be done, court issues to be handled and now a new lawsuit designed to finish what Narc started. Just a few minutes rest, perhaps a brief day in the sun, and then I might pick myself up out of the dust and take a step up out of this pit that has become my life….
He will get his, somehow…someday.
I was starting to think no one could understand what I’ve been dealing with. I know it has to get better, just got divorced after twenty years of narc/socio nightmare. Four children which he only wants to brag about supporting not actually. I think he thinks its same thing. The judge believes him to the point I’ve questioned myself…